I needed to make amends to someone that I knew I had not treated the way they should have been treated. I crafted a message full of apology in order to be able to close the door and continue on my personal journey. I was surprised to receive a response that was clearly intended to hurt me. I took some time to digest the words and to search for the meaning hidden in them. I realized that there is still so much anger, and most of it has been misdirected my way, and that this person still has a very long road ahead of them in terms of accepting responsibility for their actions.
I am deciding whether or not to respond; I am no longer angry despite the many hurtful betrayals I suffered at their hands. I understand that it isn't my place or responsibility to educate them with respect to the email response: rather, it is my place to continue on my own journey and wish them nothing but the best.
What's interesting here is that a couple of years ago I would have jumped all over this and stated my case very clearly, ad nauseam, as to why I was being targeted unfairly and would have presented very clear and concise proof to back it all up. Now I just shake my head and give thanks for the reminder that I am not in control of anybody except myself and do not need to take responsibility for anyone's actions except mine. It's a wonderfully freeing experience and I wish I could share it with them.
I take solace in the fact that I reached out and gave them an opportunity to say the things they felt they needed to say. I am happy that I am in a place where I can do that without fear of losing myself to the demons that constantly circle and wait for an opening.
I love this life and my journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment