How Amazing

Every morning, I draw a card from my Tarot deck just to see what lies ahead. I do not allow myself to become defined by that simple reading, nor do I rage when when things don't happen as were foretold. It would be easy to lay the blame at another's feet, and I simply cannot do that.

Now and then though, I get a response that tells me I'm doing the right thing. I feel as though it's the Universe telling me that I'm on the right path and imparting to me a gentle nudge of encouragement to keep going. I've been struggling with something for the past few days, facing some demons from my past that I've needed to silence, and today I drew the Five of Chalices.

For those who don't Read, here is the basic meaning of that card:

"The Five of Chalices card suggests that my power today lies in a crossroads. I am not alone. I intend to let go of despair or nostalgia and I choose to make peace with loss or express mourning in order to move forward. I release the rut of regret and the fear of tomorrow to make way for forgiveness, pleasure, beauty, and hope. I am empowered by my conscience and my gift is forgiveness."

How timely is this card? I have been trying to let go of past hurts and betrayals and have been working through it one small step at a time. This card tells me that I am doing the right thing by going slowly and not rushing my healing or forgiveness; both will come.

While I know in my heart what I am doing is right, it makes me feel better knowing the Universe is in sync with me. I will keep on my path, walking my Truth, knowing that my heart is clear.

And it doesn't hurt that I am wearing my favorite Batman tshirt at work either. 

Wolves and Sheep

You know those people who pretend to love and support you while secretly doing their best to make sure you don't succeed? Of course you do. They are probably around you all of the time and are usually easy to spot once you know what to look for.

These people will automatically tell you how great you were, or how clever your idea is, but won't offer to help map it out or provide a source of positive feedback. They will sit there, inwardly rolling their eyes and when you ask them what they think they will say,"Sounds awesome!".

*not to be confused with those who genuinely think every single idea you have is brilliant. Those people are amazing, and you should hang onto them.

They are right there when it's time to talk about why it won't work, or how it could be better, but somehow their feedback seems sharp and painful rather than loving and helpful. They say that they are being open and honest, but you know better: it feels like they are using this an opportunity to get their digs in. None of that is helpful and it leads to miscommunications and fighting which sometimes ends up in a dissolved friendship.

I have had to try and figure out who these people are in my life and found that the answer is not always as clear or as logical as I wish it would be. People have 'off days' where nothing seems to go right and everyone is out to get them due to the giant target they feel spray-painted on their back. In times like this, it helps to step back and let them do their thing.

Time will tell whether or not the person is having an 'off day' or is really and truly a terrible person you should stay away from. Mistakes will be made. Feelings will be hurt. Apologies will be made and sometimes not accepted, that's okay too. 

If you aren't brave enough to stand up for yourself, try and imagine the situation happening to someone close to you. How would you feel? What would you do?

Then do that. For yourself.

Hello Tuesday

Imagine going through a week of being completely and totally honest with everyone you came in contact with. Seriously; close your eyes and imagine scenarios and situations where you would be able to be sincere in your honesty. Watch as the people you are in contact with first look at you in disbelief at what you've said, then watch that disbelief turn to anger when they understand what you've said. 

No one wants to hear the truth from you or anyone else. They are completely content to go through their lives with blinders on completely oblivious to anything outside their immediate scope of perception. Read: if it don't concern 'em, they ain't concerned.

I just made that up. I think. Anyway.

That's scary shit right there.

I can count the number of times I felt able to be completely honest with someone other than my husband on one hand and a have a finger or two left over. Not because I've lied to them; rather, the situation called for something more delicate than brutal honesty. Perhaps if I'd been more honest I might have been able to salvage a friendship or two along the way. Perhaps. Those things will usually happen regardless of how much effort is put into them and I suspect those friendships would have collapsed anyhow.

I have always tried my best to be a strong person and to be the one who tells it like it is without being nasty about it. Lately though, I have discovered a certain freedom in being absent from those instances that would require that kind of performance from me. I have encouraged others to rely less on me and more on themselves and their partners, to be more blunt. And I really like how it's turning out.

Let's face it, I am probably not the best person to be doling out advice. I am in a steady stream of constantly making mistakes and figuring out how to fix them without anyone noticing. People like me should be studied. 

(insert witty ending paragraph here... maybe. If I can think of one. If not, just leave in and confuse people)