It's no secret that I am a very angry person. I have a quick temper and low tolerance for racism, sexism, ageism, or any other type of pigeon-holing or shaming that goes on in the media. I find it infuriating that Kim Kardashian's ass gets more publicity than the fact we landed on a fucking comet, or that Alyssa Milano's photo of her breastfeeding her child is deemed to be 'socially inappropriate' when again, Kimmy-cakes is nude and photo-shopped to shit.
Sigh. There I go again.
Look, it isn't that I enjoy being angry or that I go out of my way to find things to be angry about. Seriously. All I have to do is check out social media: there is tons on there to be angry about, and most of it is completely ridiculous. So why bother getting upset?
I'll tell you why.
Just because you have an opinion on something does not entitle you to ridicule anyone who opposes it. Your opinion is just that: something that you developed for yourself. The fact that some people disagree with you does not mean that you are being targeted, or discriminated against, or anything like that. It means that someone doesn't share your viewpoint.
Consider this: there are two possibilities for why an inordinate amount of people might disagree with you on a regular basis. You might actually be wrong and need to reexamine your opinions, or you could just be an asshole.
Some people would rather be an asshole than admit they're wrong. I get it, admitting you were wrong is tough to do. I have had my share of struggles with this and still find it hard at times to admit that I was wrong. But here's the point: I do admit it. I own up to the fact that maybe I didn't have all the facts or just made a mistake.
At this point of my life, I don't have time for bullshit. I have zero time to waste on people who cannot have a conversation without trying to convert me, who judge me on my appearance, or who say I'm a 'fake nerd' because I don't watch Doctor Who. Instead, I choose to surround myself with loving, caring people who challenge me and support me because that is what I deserve. I deserve to lead a happy, fulfilling life with people I love who love me back not because of what I can do for them, but because of who I am.
And I don't care if you don't agree with me.
Showing posts with label challenges. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenges. Show all posts
18 Nov 2014
1 Jul 2014
Wolves and Sheep
You know those people who pretend to love and support you while secretly doing their best to make sure you don't succeed? Of course you do. They are probably around you all of the time and are usually easy to spot once you know what to look for.
These people will automatically tell you how great you were, or how clever your idea is, but won't offer to help map it out or provide a source of positive feedback. They will sit there, inwardly rolling their eyes and when you ask them what they think they will say,"Sounds awesome!".
*not to be confused with those who genuinely think every single idea you have is brilliant. Those people are amazing, and you should hang onto them.
They are right there when it's time to talk about why it won't work, or how it could be better, but somehow their feedback seems sharp and painful rather than loving and helpful. They say that they are being open and honest, but you know better: it feels like they are using this an opportunity to get their digs in. None of that is helpful and it leads to miscommunications and fighting which sometimes ends up in a dissolved friendship.
I have had to try and figure out who these people are in my life and found that the answer is not always as clear or as logical as I wish it would be. People have 'off days' where nothing seems to go right and everyone is out to get them due to the giant target they feel spray-painted on their back. In times like this, it helps to step back and let them do their thing.
Time will tell whether or not the person is having an 'off day' or is really and truly a terrible person you should stay away from. Mistakes will be made. Feelings will be hurt. Apologies will be made and sometimes not accepted, that's okay too.
If you aren't brave enough to stand up for yourself, try and imagine the situation happening to someone close to you. How would you feel? What would you do?
Then do that. For yourself.
These people will automatically tell you how great you were, or how clever your idea is, but won't offer to help map it out or provide a source of positive feedback. They will sit there, inwardly rolling their eyes and when you ask them what they think they will say,"Sounds awesome!".
*not to be confused with those who genuinely think every single idea you have is brilliant. Those people are amazing, and you should hang onto them.
They are right there when it's time to talk about why it won't work, or how it could be better, but somehow their feedback seems sharp and painful rather than loving and helpful. They say that they are being open and honest, but you know better: it feels like they are using this an opportunity to get their digs in. None of that is helpful and it leads to miscommunications and fighting which sometimes ends up in a dissolved friendship.
I have had to try and figure out who these people are in my life and found that the answer is not always as clear or as logical as I wish it would be. People have 'off days' where nothing seems to go right and everyone is out to get them due to the giant target they feel spray-painted on their back. In times like this, it helps to step back and let them do their thing.
Time will tell whether or not the person is having an 'off day' or is really and truly a terrible person you should stay away from. Mistakes will be made. Feelings will be hurt. Apologies will be made and sometimes not accepted, that's okay too.
If you aren't brave enough to stand up for yourself, try and imagine the situation happening to someone close to you. How would you feel? What would you do?
Then do that. For yourself.
24 Jun 2014
Baby Steps are Good for the Soul
I seem to spend a lot of time talking about doing things rather than just doing them. Part of that is because I suffer from a lack of confidence and I don't want to be laughed at if it should turn out that I fail. I share this trait with many other people and I am getting tired of it.
I read this article by Seth Godin that talks about compromise. One line in particular stuck out at me and made me sit back:
"Compromise gives us an out, because, with multiple goals, it's easy to play it safe."
Compromise does more than give me an out; it hobbles me to a point where every damn thing is so daunting I cannot even get started. A self-imposed daily goal of writing a thousand words does not sound too difficult when you consider how many hours in day there are in which to accomplish that. So what happens? Why can't I do it? Why can't I finish NaNoWriMo, even once?
Simple. I compromise my time away and I don't make it a priority. Also, I don't care who you are: a thousand words all in a row every single is pretty daunting.
My solution is this: I am going to write 100 words a day on this blog. Sometimes it's going to be hard and I won't want to, and those are the times when I will really have to examine the choices I make.
After all, when I say that I don't have time, what I'm really saying is I don't want to make it a priority.
I read this article by Seth Godin that talks about compromise. One line in particular stuck out at me and made me sit back:
"Compromise gives us an out, because, with multiple goals, it's easy to play it safe."
Compromise does more than give me an out; it hobbles me to a point where every damn thing is so daunting I cannot even get started. A self-imposed daily goal of writing a thousand words does not sound too difficult when you consider how many hours in day there are in which to accomplish that. So what happens? Why can't I do it? Why can't I finish NaNoWriMo, even once?
Simple. I compromise my time away and I don't make it a priority. Also, I don't care who you are: a thousand words all in a row every single is pretty daunting.
My solution is this: I am going to write 100 words a day on this blog. Sometimes it's going to be hard and I won't want to, and those are the times when I will really have to examine the choices I make.
After all, when I say that I don't have time, what I'm really saying is I don't want to make it a priority.
28 Sept 2012
Challenges Are Good, But Magic is Better
Something that I am in constant awe about is how people deal with challenges. Everyone has their own coping mechanisms, and I find it fascinating to watch people as they try and figure out solutions. It's equally entertaining to step in at the right time with an offer of a solution and see if they choose to implement it or not.
My current boss decided that my computer would be given to a co-worker and that I would start to use one of the big, beautiful Mac's that the graphic design team work on. The computer comes with wireless mouse and keyboard, which requires bluetooth to be installed and enabled in order for the wireless items to pair and sync with the computer. I watched the IT guy switch my old computer with the new one and retrieve my emails from the server. So far, so good.
He then tried to pair the keyboard and mouse. They were both blinking, which meant they were searching for each other, but the little screen that is supposed to pop up to ask you if you want them to sync with the Mac didn't appear. It was then that I had a suspicion, but I kept it to myself because I figured he knew what he was doing.
Four hours and a very angry boss later, I suggested that perhaps the unit did not have bluetooth installed. My boss was furious that the process was taking so long and told me that all of the Mac's had been purchased at 'the same time with the same stuff inside them'. Exact words. I nodded and went back to my magazine.
After countless troubleshooting attempts, numerous online forums, and a brief but tense meeting, I managed to point out that there was no bluetooth. Clicking on the 'About this Mac' proved I was right.
Silence.
A flurry of confusion. How can that be? How did the previous employee use the computer with the keyboard and mouse if there is no bluetooth? We all saw her use it?!
Those are all very good questions. I have a theory as to the answer.
Magic.
What else could it be? I can't figure it out and neither can anyone else here. It's a bit of a mystery. Every now and again I am reminded that we don't always have the answers and that some things just are. Like knowing who is on the phone the instant it rings. Or buying your partner flowers 'for no reason'. Magic does exist; it just goes by different names for different people.
Sometimes, just asking the question is enough of an answer.
My current boss decided that my computer would be given to a co-worker and that I would start to use one of the big, beautiful Mac's that the graphic design team work on. The computer comes with wireless mouse and keyboard, which requires bluetooth to be installed and enabled in order for the wireless items to pair and sync with the computer. I watched the IT guy switch my old computer with the new one and retrieve my emails from the server. So far, so good.
He then tried to pair the keyboard and mouse. They were both blinking, which meant they were searching for each other, but the little screen that is supposed to pop up to ask you if you want them to sync with the Mac didn't appear. It was then that I had a suspicion, but I kept it to myself because I figured he knew what he was doing.
Four hours and a very angry boss later, I suggested that perhaps the unit did not have bluetooth installed. My boss was furious that the process was taking so long and told me that all of the Mac's had been purchased at 'the same time with the same stuff inside them'. Exact words. I nodded and went back to my magazine.
After countless troubleshooting attempts, numerous online forums, and a brief but tense meeting, I managed to point out that there was no bluetooth. Clicking on the 'About this Mac' proved I was right.
Silence.
A flurry of confusion. How can that be? How did the previous employee use the computer with the keyboard and mouse if there is no bluetooth? We all saw her use it?!
Those are all very good questions. I have a theory as to the answer.
Magic.
What else could it be? I can't figure it out and neither can anyone else here. It's a bit of a mystery. Every now and again I am reminded that we don't always have the answers and that some things just are. Like knowing who is on the phone the instant it rings. Or buying your partner flowers 'for no reason'. Magic does exist; it just goes by different names for different people.
Sometimes, just asking the question is enough of an answer.
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