It's been awhile, hasn't it? The past four months have been difficult and it seemed at times that life was determined to make me more bitter and cynical than I already am. I have been through a very dark time and have managed to come out the other side a better person with a new understanding of the way things really work. Along the way I made some remarkable discoveries, the least of which still shook me to my core.
It's amazing what happens externally when things fall apart internally. I watched as people drifted away, confused and angry with me, and was awestruck by the love and generosity of those who corralled around me. Those who claimed to love me simply vanished, and although I don't want to say this, I had foolishly hoped that they would stand by me in my time of need and reciprocate the care that I had given them in their time of need. While I lost a few 'friends', my family was especially understanding and both my mother and my brother (which includes his wife as they are a matched pair) offered me unending love and support without asking for any kind of clarification. My partner stood by me throughout the entire ordeal and not once did he complain or balk at the thought of dragging me through another day of existence. Without them, I may not have been able to get through this as relatively unscathed as I did.
It's been a tough road at times and I have made many mistakes along the way; however, I revel in the very real possibility of being able to move forward with a clear head and a light heart. I said a long time ago that one of the few things I wanted from life was to rebuild my family and with their help, it has happened. The safety and security that I have found in my family's devotion to one another has sustained me and helped me overcome a lot of things that might have drowned me.
