A Bitch, A Complaint and some Awesomeness

Bitch:

I'm pretty sure I've already bitched about this but I'm still so damn angry I need to do it again. Two weekends ago was Mother's Day and the boy and I went to see my mom. We picked up a gift and a lovely card and were prepared to sit through the mounds of bullshit that my step-father was going to dish out. We got there, said hello and I noticed that the dining room table wasn't set the usual way when we go there for dinner. No fancy placemats, no chargers, no crystal, nothing. Just an empty table. I turned to my mother to ask her wtf, and she said that my step-father had decided that we weren't going to make a big deal about dinner. I just stared at her, furious. Knowing full well that he was in the next room, I said very loudly, "He does know that today is Mother's Day and that Father's Day is right around the corner, correct? I am guessing we won't be making a big deal out of that, either?"

We ate in the kitchen. What an asshole. Just wait until Father's Day rolls around and I don't make a big deal out if it like I normally do. Jackass.

Complaint:

I am tired of being labelled the bad guy for speaking my mind and holding fast to my principles. Speaking my mind at work hasn't netted me a raise however it has given me the chutzpah to go looking for a new job. When people don't do what they say they will, I file that information away for later and make sure I have the necessary back up for when the shit hits the fan. I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked the status of a project that I am not working on and expected to provide the answer. I have stopped trying to answer and begun to allow those who are responsible, and I use that term loosely, to actually blubber and sputter their way through whatever excuse they can muster at the time. It is very empowering to know that by giving up control of something, I am actually regaining control. And I also enjoy the look of terrified understanding on their faces when they realize that it all could have been avoided by simply working with me and not trying to fuck me over.

And now for the Awesomeness:

Last weekend was my stupid step-father's birthday barbeque. It was also the first time in 12 years that I have seen or spoken to my older blood brother. While it was awkward at first, he and I quickly reclaimed the friendship we shared when we were younger, to the point where he invited me up to his house for a weekend. We had a very long talk and finally were able to talk through some things that have been the basis for our non communication; things that had been eating away at both of us simply because we are both too stubborn to pick up the phone for fear of opening ourselves to pain. During our fantastic talk, we both were rebuked by our step-father for not joining the party. We looked at each other, and then before my brother could say anything, I reminded my step-father that I have not seen my brother in 12 years. I then directed him back to his party and away from us.

My brother has always held a very special place in my heart and I have missed him so much throughout these years. I completely opened up to him and told him that, and to my complete surprise he echoed my feelings. I don't really remember too much of the party to be honest, I was pretty fixated on my brother and his wife. They are a lovely couple, and she was instrumental in finally getting through to my brother and convincing him that sometimes you need to let go of the past and move forward in order to find peace.

It was a little weird being in my mom's kitchen with both my mom and my brother. It felt like no time had passed at all and we were still the same crazy giggling family we always were. I have always wanted my own family comprised of my own flesh and blood, and now it seems as though I have them. But that's not the best part. I also have a little brother whom I haven't seen in almost as long, and after my older brother told him the stories of our meeting, he now wants to see me too. And he's getting married next month. And they want me to go to the wedding. And we're going to build my Lego Death Star that's still in the box from Christmas together. As a family. Me and my brothers and my sisters-in-law. Wow.

And honestly, I don't need to hear any crap from anyone about how I was supposed to have a Death Star building party and now everyone's all upset because it won't happen. It will happen. I'm just going to build it with my brothers first. And if any of you have a problem with that, guess who won't be invited to the second building?

I Love it When A Plan Comes Together

This weekend was one of the best ever. There really isn't one definitive thing that happened that makes me say that, it's more of a meshing of everything that happened. Friday night I was out with my girlfriends and we went dancing. The last time I did that I was with a different group of people and in a very different place in my life. Friday night reminded me that life doesn't stand still no matter how much you may want it to and that when it moves you either move with it or get left behind.

Saturday the boy and I spent with my mom. We took her a gift and a sappy card and she made us burgers and fries. More than the food though, we sat around after my step-father left and just giggled. She also surprised me with a gift that brought tears to my eyes: a book full of her memories of my grandmother. It also included pictures when I was little; pictures of my dad, my mom and me on my first day home (my mom had the same hairstyle back then that I am sporting right now: weird) and lots of other stuff. One of the nicest things was that it's written by my mother, so it's all her memories of me when I was a kid and how she felt when she was a kid. It really opened my eyes to read that. I have always known that I am special to my mom and it made me feel very special to be given something so lovingly and painstakingly put together by her. I am still flipping through the pages and finding out new things about my mother and I love her even more because she's allowed me to see that secret part of her that she doesn't show anyone.

After my mom's, we went to a friend's birthday party. Then we went to a terrible strip club. Then we went to an awesome comedy club. Then on the way home, I called 911 for the very first time in my life.

The main street by our house is undergoing construction and part of it is blocked to all southbound traffic. This means you have to find an alternate route, as in don't drive any further; there is no road. We were driving northbound and saw a black sports car dragging part of the chainlink fence on its hood. The car had smashed through the barrier fence, taken off part of its fancy underside skirting and was sparking the whole way. The car was swerving, and due to the time (almost 2am) the boy and I were afraid that with the clubs letting people out someone was going to get hurt. I called 911 to let them know, and laughed when the woman asked for any distinguishing marks on the car. I told her it was dragging a fence. Then we went home and played a videogame and went to bed.

Sunday we went to see the boy's mother and went for lunch then I napped the whole way home. We got home late afternoon and sat in front of the television until I decided I needed to go to bed. There was a sleeping cat in my lap making me drowsy and I finally gave up around 9pm.

Great weekend, with another great one coming up. I have so much work to do, but I'm not complaining. Between my regular work and the magazine I'm editing plus my writing, I am going to need this long weekend to catch up on few things like sleep. And Descent.

The Friday Cometh...

The past few weeks have been a bit of blur. I am so mentally exhausted that I have been sitting here trying to write something smart and witty for the past few minutes and all I've come up with is the revelation that my cat might be gay. I've also realized that the magazine I'm editing is full of errors and it's making me want to curl up into a ball and cry. So, I'm editing hopeful writers' work and trying to be nice about it but the truth is, if you cannot string together coherent sentences and spell them correctly, perhaps you should focus your energies on schooling yourself in the literary arts before trying to sell your work. Just an idea.

On a completely different note, I am almost finished my story for the sci-fi magazine who wants to publish it. That's exciting, except I'm too tired to fully appreciate what that means: I'm breaking into a competely new writing genre. New to me, anyway.

Although things are busy, I am fairly happy and content with the way things are going. My work is good, my job is great, the boy and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary last week and I don't really have any complaints. None that are valid anyway. I will always find something to complain about if I look hard enough.

Until next time, stay frosty and watch your back. Samsquanches are afoot.