This is the Way the World Ends...

I am seeing a lot of posts from people declaring that they will no longer take any shit from people and that they will cut people from their lives who "don't deserve to be in them". I understand the intensity of needing/wanting to keep shitty people away from you, but I wonder how much of it could have been avoided by a few people if they had changed what they were projecting.

When people treat you poorly, they are doing so because in a very subtle way, you have allowed them to. You have subconsciously given them the perception that since you don't treat yourself in a loving way, whatever that looks like, you don't expect others to treat you in a loving or respectful way. I am not in any way saying that those being treated poorly deserve it. No one deserves to be treated badly by anyone at any time. Part of your individual responsibility though, is ensuring that whatever you project outwards is truthful and loving because others who pick up on it will respond appropriately. If they don't, you can either walk away or try to change their perception of you.

Simply put: you reap what you sow. Don't be a shitty person, and people won't be shitty to you. It's that easy. Yes, there will be people to tell you that some people are just naturally shitty and that is true. Walk away from them, and go find your tribe. Those people are out there waiting for you.

Personally, I have an awesome group of people around me who are incredibly supportive of the path I have chosen to take. I have been able to reconnect with a few people from my past and together we have learned that not all things are as they once appeared to be. I have discovered lies within truths, and truth within lies. I have been betrayed by those who claimed to 'have my back' and have had people stand by me who don't know my middle name.

Time means nothing. Age means nothing. Personal truth is everything. When you discover what your own personal truth is and you begin to live by it, things are easier to overcome and people are easier to decipher.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about things I might have done differently in the past couple of years and I still come back to one simple truth: a lot of the bullshit could have been avoided if a conversation had taken place. Recognizing that some people are not able to have that conversation until a later time is difficult to accept, but necessary. Relying on others for your own peace of mind is never an option, and in choosing to move on without them, I feel relief and have let go of the need for closure. Sometimes, it just isn't necessary.

And so, as the last hours of 2014 are ticking away and the new year is opening up before us, I am grateful for many things this year. My book will be coming out next year, I reconnected with a couple of people whose absence had left a hole in my life that is now healed, and I learned many things about people that are both in my life and not. I  learned to concentrate more on the people who are in my life, as those who are not can quite simply go fuck themselves. Life is too short to waste it on shitty people, and I am happy that I have none in my life anymore.

Happy New Year. I hope you find your tribe.

On Being Everywhere

I get it. After all these years, I finally understand it. I think I always knew it deep down and just needed to let myself actually believe it.

I do believe it. Balls deep, in fact.

I cannot be everything to everyone and I cannot be everywhere for everyone. I sometimes have to decline invitations to do things with friends and when they are upset with me because of it, that's okay. I have to listen to myself and do what's right for me at that time. If that means I don't go see that movie/band/whatever, then fine.

At first, I was scared to tell people that I needed time on my own rather than join them for their outing. I thought they`d make some sort of mean jab (and some did but I no longer have them in my life), and when they didn`t, I realized something very powerful: personal truth.

It`s very difficult to be truthful about your own feelings when you feel you are obligated to people. Speaking your truth when you need to is very empowering and tells the other person that you are practicing self-love. Taking care of yourself first is not selfish: it`s a necessity. How the fuck can you take care of others if you aren`t taking care of yourself? 

Seriously. Take a few minutes and think about who you are and what you need. At this moment, it might be a cup of coffee. That's a good start. While sipping your coffee, think about what else you might need and then do that. One step at a time.

Baby steps = laying the foundation to practise self-love every day.