A Bitch, A Complaint and some Awesomeness

Bitch:

I'm pretty sure I've already bitched about this but I'm still so damn angry I need to do it again. Two weekends ago was Mother's Day and the boy and I went to see my mom. We picked up a gift and a lovely card and were prepared to sit through the mounds of bullshit that my step-father was going to dish out. We got there, said hello and I noticed that the dining room table wasn't set the usual way when we go there for dinner. No fancy placemats, no chargers, no crystal, nothing. Just an empty table. I turned to my mother to ask her wtf, and she said that my step-father had decided that we weren't going to make a big deal about dinner. I just stared at her, furious. Knowing full well that he was in the next room, I said very loudly, "He does know that today is Mother's Day and that Father's Day is right around the corner, correct? I am guessing we won't be making a big deal out of that, either?"

We ate in the kitchen. What an asshole. Just wait until Father's Day rolls around and I don't make a big deal out if it like I normally do. Jackass.

Complaint:

I am tired of being labelled the bad guy for speaking my mind and holding fast to my principles. Speaking my mind at work hasn't netted me a raise however it has given me the chutzpah to go looking for a new job. When people don't do what they say they will, I file that information away for later and make sure I have the necessary back up for when the shit hits the fan. I cannot tell you how many times I've been asked the status of a project that I am not working on and expected to provide the answer. I have stopped trying to answer and begun to allow those who are responsible, and I use that term loosely, to actually blubber and sputter their way through whatever excuse they can muster at the time. It is very empowering to know that by giving up control of something, I am actually regaining control. And I also enjoy the look of terrified understanding on their faces when they realize that it all could have been avoided by simply working with me and not trying to fuck me over.

And now for the Awesomeness:

Last weekend was my stupid step-father's birthday barbeque. It was also the first time in 12 years that I have seen or spoken to my older blood brother. While it was awkward at first, he and I quickly reclaimed the friendship we shared when we were younger, to the point where he invited me up to his house for a weekend. We had a very long talk and finally were able to talk through some things that have been the basis for our non communication; things that had been eating away at both of us simply because we are both too stubborn to pick up the phone for fear of opening ourselves to pain. During our fantastic talk, we both were rebuked by our step-father for not joining the party. We looked at each other, and then before my brother could say anything, I reminded my step-father that I have not seen my brother in 12 years. I then directed him back to his party and away from us.

My brother has always held a very special place in my heart and I have missed him so much throughout these years. I completely opened up to him and told him that, and to my complete surprise he echoed my feelings. I don't really remember too much of the party to be honest, I was pretty fixated on my brother and his wife. They are a lovely couple, and she was instrumental in finally getting through to my brother and convincing him that sometimes you need to let go of the past and move forward in order to find peace.

It was a little weird being in my mom's kitchen with both my mom and my brother. It felt like no time had passed at all and we were still the same crazy giggling family we always were. I have always wanted my own family comprised of my own flesh and blood, and now it seems as though I have them. But that's not the best part. I also have a little brother whom I haven't seen in almost as long, and after my older brother told him the stories of our meeting, he now wants to see me too. And he's getting married next month. And they want me to go to the wedding. And we're going to build my Lego Death Star that's still in the box from Christmas together. As a family. Me and my brothers and my sisters-in-law. Wow.

And honestly, I don't need to hear any crap from anyone about how I was supposed to have a Death Star building party and now everyone's all upset because it won't happen. It will happen. I'm just going to build it with my brothers first. And if any of you have a problem with that, guess who won't be invited to the second building?