Make up Your mind Already

So now I'm flip-flopping on the whole invitation-only thing. When I initially closed off my blog, it was because I felt it would upset the boy to read about my exploits as they are no longer about him. Not that I devoted my entire blog to spouting endless amounts of verbiage about him because I didn't. The fact is, things have changed, and my feelings on this have also changed because now I don't care. Not because I'm heartless; anyone who knows me that I am deeply emotional and terribly romantic, but because I feel that it's my right to talk about what's going on in my life without worrying about anyone's reaction. For example, the reaction that will come my way regarding the next paragraph as soon as this blog is made public again.

Last night I had a fantastic chat with a lady I haven't seen in over a year because of her fractured friendship with the boy. I am not making that up or casting blame; that is the truth and she said it to my face. I went to her house and we sat and talked for hours about everything that had happened in the past year or so and in the end realized that we never really stopped being friends. We didn't talk, true, but that hasn't seemed to hinder the friendship. While it will take some time before we are completely comfortable being around each other again, it was nice to finally be able to say all the things I have wanted to directly to her.

This week has been great for me. Not only have I managed to convince myself that two more cats are good idea ( just for a month, they need a home and they are brothers and adorable and oh god I'm turning into the crazy cat-lady), I have come up with a game plan for school. I have decided that I need to go back, there's no resisting it anymore. My boss has offered to pick up half the tab as the prgram directly relates to my job, so there's no excuse for me to not go, except that I am oh-so very lazy and am dreading the first day of school shenanigans.

I am in a very good place in my life, and I would not have been able to come this far so quickly without the love and support of my brothers and best friends. You guys have been so great, and so patient with me as I floundered trying to be courageous and make the changes that I needed so very much in my life. My oath to all of you is that I swear to always be worthy of your love, trust and friendship.

And with that, I am going to re-open my blog. See you guys on the flip side.

Kisses.