This weekend was very upsetting and difficult for me. I was terrified to do something that I have been looking forward to because there was a chance I would run into someone I didn't want to see. I was told by someone very dear to me that I was being an asshole and that I should not allow someone else to dictate my actions to me. I was very angry that he said this to me as it made me feel as though he thought I was weak. Well, guess what? I was.
As I sulked on my couch knowing that I was missing out on something that I have been dying to go to, he shrugged his shoulders and said that he would wait while I got ready. I snapped that I wasn't going, and he asked me why. I started to tell him the whole dramatic episode and he brushed me off. Not that he didn't think that my feelings were valid, he just couldn't see the point of allowing others to tell me where I can and cannot go. Then he reminded me of his ex-girlfriend who refused to go anywhere with him for fear of running into people she didn't want to see. That got me thinking.
How many times have I stopped at the threshold of a place knowing that there might be someone inside I didn't want to see? How many times did I still go in? Not many. That made me sad at first, then a bit angry with myself for allowing this to happen for so long. That being said, I jumped in the shower and went and had a blast. Of course then I ruined the day by going to see 'Death Race' but whatever.
I guess I learned something. I stopped going to the gym because a girl I no longer speak to works out there. When I actually sat down and thought about it, it seems absolutely ridiculous to not go places on the slim chance that someone I don't care to associate with might be there. I think the most astonishing thing though is the fact that a man gave me good advice. And I took it. Weird.
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