To Hell and Back Again

Let me first say that I will not try and bring you up to date on what's been happening. I don't have that good of a memory and to be honest, it will probably bore you to tears. Hell, I'm bored of it and it's my life! I've been sick, quit my job, made it through my first married Christmas and for all intents and purposes I seem to be relatively unscathed. Relatively.

I'm bored. Really and truly bored. My husband keeps telling me to start an e-store or redo my online resume but I just can't seem to get motivated. I suspect it might be out of spite. He has a wonderful new opportunity at his company, and I'm left sitting at home with a broken uterus and serious pain that doesn't always let me know when it's going to strike. I can't go too far from home in case I have an attack and need to lie down. 34 years old and I feel like I'm eighty. Fuck.

My husband broke my laptop, my wonderful ibook that has weathered many storms in the 6 or so years that I've owned it. It's in the shop and I have to use his laptop and I'm not happy about it. Even though it's newer and has a bigger screen and is faster. It's just not the same. Sigh.

I guess I'm in a funk. I feel useless because I can't contribute financially to the household and now it looks as though I won't be able to bear children. Failure, complete and utter failure. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not physically able to do much, and for someone as active as I am that really kills me. I can't go to the gym. I can't go for a walk. So now only do I feel terrible because I'm in pain, I also feel terrible because I've put on weight. Just can't catch a break on any front, can I?

I'm done whining for now. Going back to my funk.